Ask ten people to describe how they communicate with colleagues, customers and other important people in their life.  Almost all of them will immediately begin describing THEIR preferred verbal, non-verbal and written communication styles and techniques.

Our preferred verbal, non-verbal and written communication styles and techniques are important... very important.  However, this answer is not the most important, most impactful and correct answer.

The most important, most impactful, and correct answer is, “It depends on... To Whom I Am Communicating.”  Far more important than your preferred communication style is the preferred and most effective communication style of those To Whom You Are Communicating.

People don’t hear the same way, they don’t hear the same thing and they don’t see the same thing.  People don’t perceive the same thing, they don’t perceive the same way and they don’t understand the same way.  People don’t think the same way, they don’t learn the same way and they don’t react the same way.  People don’t respond the same way, they don’t remember the same way and they are not moved, motivated nor inspired the same way.  People do not respond to a given communication style or technique in the same way! 

As is true with almost everything important in life, it’s not about you and it’s not about me.  It’s about who we are trying to most effectively serve.  It’s about styles and techniques that will most effectively create value in the lives of people and organizations we serve.

In order to most effectively serve and create value for others, we must communicate in a way that best serves and is best understood by those To Whom We Are Communicating.

That means taking the time and making the effort to understand To Whom We Are Communicating.  Time consuming and sometimes difficult... for sure!  But, absolutely crucial in order to maximize your effectiveness.

It’s not about you or me or our preferred communication styles or techniques.  It’s about To Whom We Are Communicating.  From a communication perspective, your way... your style...your preferences... and mine don’t really matter.  What matters is TO WHOM YOU ARE COMMUNICATING?

We are all slaves to our habits.  99% of our communications are driven by habit.  Add to your To Do and to your Think List... To Whom Am I Communicating?  Extremely important question!  The answer is absolutely crucial to your current and future success!

Copyright © 2010 by Dan Nielsen